Highlights Mothers Talks of 2019!

MotherStories is primarily an adventure based on dialogue and experience sharing. Each opportunity enables us to meet and spend quality time together. Year 2019 was especially rich in meet ups with no less than 15 events organized in Geneva. Mothers Talks, Mothers Nights, Mothers Days, Mothers Fits, Mothers & Kids are the format names we imagined and created to support the mothers (to be) and enable them to get some fresh air (meaning getting out of their routine and the mental burden that comes with it).

For those who, until now, haven't been able to attend one of our events, we would like to offer you a recap of Motherstories' popular formats: Mothers Talk. It enables you to deep dive into one specific topic with the help of experts (lawyers, psychologists, HR, etc.) and/or mothers willing to share their stories.

With and thanks to them, we wish to give you all the information you need to have a peaceful pregnancy, to make the best decisions for your situation while respecting your true wishes. We met with inspiring women who really cherished sharing their knowledge and motherhood perspective with others.

These were the names of the 3 main Mothers Talks organized in 2019 :

  1. Doula, midwife, gynecologist: complementary allies!
  2. Career and motherhood, is it compatible?
  3. Maternity leave: everything you need to know and how to live it peacefully.


Doula, midwife, gynecologist: complementary allies!
When you are pregnant, there are many options you can choose from with regards to your pregnancy journey; however, it is not always easy to identify them. As you don't always know who to turn to for general questions about pregnancy and delivery, we allowed mums to ask their questions to three experts: a gynecologist, a midwife, and a doula.

Whether you are supported by one or the other or several of them at the same time, the three have the mission to accompany you through your motherhood project in the best way possible. However, each of them has a specific role.

The gynecologist has a specialized medical degree. They principally ensure your pregnancy goes well from a medical and physiological perspective. They will start by confirming your pregnancy at 12 weeks, then follow you while you go through some crucial steps such as the morphological ultrasound. If you are experiencing a high-risk pregnancy, you will probably deliver with a gynecologist.

The midwife also has medical training. We often think she only intervenes in the delivery room, but this is wrong! She can support you during the entire pregnancy, advise you, examine you, and check that everything is going smoothly. The midwife is preparing you to give birth by advising on the various delivery possibilities ahead of you (water delivery, vertical birth, at-home delivery, a birth house, etc.) while helping you to handle the pain (birth preparation class with breathing techniques, using a balloon, epidural injection, etc.). The midwife also treats all the postpartum care at the maternity ward/clinic and then at home. Mandatory basic insurance covers it entirely, without any deductible or contribution, for 56 days (8 weeks) postpartum. In general, 16 home visits for the first child and 10 visits from the second child onwards.

The Doula is here to support you morally and emotionally during the entire pregnancy. She becomes in a way your second-best friend. She is dedicated to your overall well being. She can suggest some self-hypnosis, sophrology techniques, massages, she helps create a cocooning atmosphere during labor, etc. Doula goes through specialized training, which is not medical.

Her primary role is to inform the parents on which choices are available to them and answer all their questions concerning prenatal, delivery, and postpartum. The Doula can attend the birth if the facility (public or private) allows it. Her presence is reassuring for the parents to-be, who trust her presence. She handles and enables proper communication between them and the medical staff.

To conclude this first topic and answer the question: are midwives, gynecologists, and doulas complementary? The answer is obviously yes.

Depending on the wants and needs of the future parents, each of them has a privileged and well-defined role. Therefore, it is up to you to choose whom you want to accompany you whether it's a gynecologist and a doula; or a gynecologist and a midwife or all three together! The only one that you cannot remove from the equation is the gynecologist (smile). The mother to-be will have to see him or her at least once to confirm the pregnancy, providing it is a normal and safe one, before being followed by a midwife.

In any case, the most important thing is to listen to yourself. Be accountable for your choices, even if those do not please those closest to you (including your husband). These decisions belong to you, and you are by far the best person to know what is best for you and your baby and what is not.

Career and motherhood, is it compatible?
Natalie, the co-founder of MotherStories, recently went through a career change. Let's hear about her experience to illustrate this second topic, which, by the way, was very popular within our members' community.

Natalie is an ambitious woman who always liked to work and spent the past 8 years in merchandising for an international corporation. After her first child was born, she wanted to get back to work right away and prove to herself (and to others too) that being a full-time working mum is possible! However, after a second pregnancy and a miscarriage, things started to change. After the birth of her second child (third pregnancy), it took her some time, but she finally accepted that her priorities wouldn't be the same. Her job was no longer in line with her new life, the stability she desired for her kids and even her wellbeing.

During this period of reflection, Natalie wished she could have found comfort or learnt from other moms' experiences. This is the main reason why we chose this topic for one of our MotherTalks, which we named: career and motherhood, are they compatible?

For this gathering, we invited 3 mom's with different profiles: a housewife, a full-time working mom, and a 'mumpreneur' (mom who started her own business). We tried to address questions related to guilt, ambition, and society's outlook.

Professional and life projects are continuously evolving. Women don't want to have to choose anymore. Many of them become entrepreneurs, very often combining several activities (#slasher), which enables them to have more flexible working hours, in line with their family needs. In the end, they often work more than when they were working as an employee, but they are more flexible.

For MotherStories, it is completely possible to be a mom while having a successful career. It is essential to be accountable for your choice and feel comfortable with the reasons behind it. It is important to be supported, to talk about your fears and doubts to those closest to you but more than ever to the person who is sharing your life. He needs to be present enough to help you to succeed and support you no matter what.

Maternity leave: everything you need to know and how to enjoy it peacefully
Congratulations, you just gave birth and are starting this new chapter of your life called maternity leave. In Geneva, it lasts 16 weeks. However, if you wish to get back to work after the first eight weeks of mandatory leave (very often the case for self-employed women), you can, but this means your maternity insurance will end.

In any case, this time is dedicated to becoming closer to your baby. Everything is new; you have to set in and create a new routine for yourself. The mat leave, which lasts 4 months (it can last longer depending on the company), is the necessary duration for you to slowly go through physical and emotional changes resulting from the tsunami commonly known as: childbirth.

Mat leave is that time where the young mom shouldn't be concerned about returning to work. She should feel protected and fully dedicated to her baby. Unfortunately, those few months also come with some sort of stress. Stress from knowing that soon you will have to leave your baby, trying to figure out childcare, how to combine and manage family and professional life providing it is not put to one side when you go back to work (change of position or get the sack , etc.). We just talked about what comes after giving birth, but what happens before is complicated as well. When should we announce a pregnancy? Should we risk slowing down our careers? So many questions and doubts which cause stress and fear amongst young and future mothers.

For this MothersTalk, we gathered an HR, a lawyer, and a life coach who helped us analyse maternity leave under different aspects (the law, the company, the individual) and then address all the members' questions.

Instead of a conclusion, we felt more like sharing a list of tips:

  • Keep in touch with your employer and colleagues.
  • As soon as your pregnancy is confirmed, start planning your childcare options.
  • Stay informed and connected; don't isolate yourself.
  • Take care of yourself and secure some "me time" alone without your child (a massage, a yoga class, lunch with girlfriends).
  • Trust yourself! Being a mom is not a given, it is a learning process, and it takes time.
  • Dare to ask for help from those around you (friends, family, colleagues, MotherStories). You are not alone, and don't have to do it alone. Don't suffer!
  • Breathe! A calm baby means a mom who feels good!

Always in a caring, light, and positive mind, MotherStories and our community is and will forever be here to listen, support, and make you smile (again).

From the bottom of our hearts we would like to thank all the people involved in our MothersTalks and hope to see you again very soon! A big thank you also to Chloé and Claire, HerStreet founders, where all our gatherings took place. Without them and their venue, they wouldn't have had the same spirit. Being able to talk about wellbeing and motherhood in a space specifically designed and dedicated to women.... What else?

If you have any topics/themes that you are particularly interested in and would like us to address in one way or another, do not hesitate to contact us!

Speak soon moms (-to be)

Elsa & Natalie

#sharinsiscaring