Miscarriage at 6 weeks

We're convinced of the need to break the silence surrounding motherhood, and determined to lift taboos that shouldn't be taboos. By bearing witness, you are offering support and comfort to all women going through a similar ordeal without daring to talk about it. Thank you for them, thank you to you.

Anonymous testimonial

"After 2 years of marriage, my boyfriend and I decided to try for a baby. After 1 month off the pill, I'm already pregnant. It was a real surprise because we both thought it would be a long time before we succeeded. It all started so well. We were so happy that we shared it with our immediate families. I knew I had to be careful with the risk of miscarriage, but of course that only happens to other people...

At 6 weeks, I started losing blood and headed for the emergency room. I was told that everything seemed to be going well, but that it would be better if I took a week off work and just lay there. A little worried, I try not to think the worst and we continue to convince ourselves that everything will be fine. I see my gynecologist a week later, who tells me that she's not sure the baby is progressing properly and that I should wait another week for a clearer diagnosis. It was the longest week of my life, between the anguish of not knowing whether my baby was alive and the anguish of telling myself that if he was, I was passing on unbearable anxieties to him. The appointment finally arrives and she tells me I have to expel what's left. I don't understand what they're talking about or how this is possible.

I really had the feeling that everything was falling apart and that all of a sudden we weren't even talking about a baby anymore, but about what to do to get rid of what was in my belly. She prescribed a treatment to be taken at home. I felt so alone, despite my darling's support, because I couldn't talk to anyone else about it. Three weeks later, a blood test confirmed that my hormone levels hadn't returned to normal, so I was prescribed a new treatment to be taken at home, which still didn't work, and three weeks later my levels were still too high... Following these two treatments, the last solution was curettage... I thought I'd be relieved once I'd passed this last stage, but no, it was as if all this time I'd been clinging on to a hope that didn't exist, and this time it was really gone.

I had the feeling that my baby had latched on and didn't want to leave. After the curettage, I finally told my close friends. I don't understand why people say to wait three months before talking about it. It's the silence and solitude that make the unbearable even more unbearable.

Having a miscarriage is a real loss and you have to mourn for it. Mourning that I couldn't even imagine before I experienced it. Just because we don't know this baby doesn't mean we don't love him already.

My husband was incredible through it all, and I realized later that his wound was probably just as deep as mine, but that he held on for me. I think we often forget that it's an ordeal for them too.

Today, I'm 6 months pregnant and everything is going well. The first few months were very hard for both of us and it took a while before we could fully enjoy this new pregnancy. For me, this is my second pregnancy and although we're going to have our first child, I can't forget that we already have one somewhere that we'll never know about.

I'll never understand the silence surrounding miscarriages, and I think that if we could talk about it more freely, we'd feel less ashamed and less alone. It might also be less of a failure.