Our "Behind the scenes of childbirth" series comes to a close with Marlène's lovely BirthStory. She gave birth to her son Alexis and daughter Noémie at the Clinique Générale-Beaulieu. Two very different pregnancies and two very different births. We're delighted to share this story with you and end 2022 on a positive note.
Marlène, can you introduce yourself in a few words?
I'm 32 years old and the proud mother of 2 children: Alexis 3.5 years and Noémie soon 10 months. Two little people who are as funny as they are dynamic and keep us very busy! I've been in a relationship with Grégoire for 10 years and we've been married for 5. I'm a pharmacist, a profession I'm passionate about and which has always been a matter of course for me. Almost 3 years ago, I took over responsibility for a small pharmacy in Champel just after my first maternity leave. In a way, it's my3rd child!
How did you experience your 2 pregnancies?
Very differently! The first was ultra-zen and calm, and the second ultra-stressed (smile); the first few months in relation to the pregnancy itself, then in relation to my professional life.
For the second pregnancy, despite my calm and optimistic nature, I let myself be influenced by traumatic experiences around me. When I arrived at the check-up appointment with my gynecologist (who had already followed me for Alexis), I don't think she recognized me because I was so anxious. After the ultrasound, which had already taken a weight off my shoulders because the baby was well attached and his little heart was beating, she suggested I have a blood test (DPNI) to detect certain types of trisomy. Once I received the negative result, I finally started to let go and live this2nd pregnancy to the full, despite the many professional responsibilities vs. the first pregnancy.
Did you have a precise birth plan in mind for your deliveries?
Precise, no. I'd heard far too much about how things never turn out the way you imagine! I usually have 3 or 4 plans in mind to bounce back from, so that's kind of what I did to avoid focusing on one idea and coming out "disappointed".
For Alexis, not knowing how I was going to manage the pain, I didn't want to be closed, even though I wanted to have as natural a birth as possible. I discussed this several times with my gynecologist, who took charge of communicating my wishes to the maternity hospital. For Noémie, being less in the unknown, I was even more motivated by a physiological birth, but I still didn't close any doors. In both cases, it was essential for me to have my gynaecologist present. Not because of her profession, but because I needed to have a professional in the room who knew me.
On D-day, for both my deliveries, my plans were respected.
How did you deal with the pain of your 1st birth?
I think like most women going through their first pregnancy, we're always wondering what the birth will be like, whether our water will break in the middle of the supermarket, or we'll wake up in the middle of the night with contractions, or rush off to the maternity hospital bent double in the passenger seat from the pain.
In the end, for me, none of that (smile)! At the end-of-pregnancy check-up, baby was fine, but I didn't have enough amniotic fluid left. To avoid an emergency situation, the decision was made to induce the same evening. A membrane detachment was attempted, but my cervix was locked, so a tampon was inserted to prepare it, warning me that it would take a long time. So I prepared myself in my head to be in pain until the following evening and told my husband to go home and sleep, as we had time and nothing would happen for 24 hours.
I managed the first pains with the ball, a hot shower and some walking. I kept in mind the words of Blandine, the midwife who prepared us for childbirth, that we shouldn't go against the pain in order for labor to progress. So I concentrated on my breathing, trying not to tense up.
At around midnight, dilated to 3, I started to really feel the pain and, fearing I'd be too tired the next day to take the baby out, the idea of an epidural began to take hold. I called my husband and told him I'd probably break down, but at least I'd be in shape to push. He was astonished that I'd asked for one "already" and so, stung in my pride, I remembered the existence of the bath, which I asked for, crossing my fingers that the peak of pain wouldn't last more than 15 seconds, as I'd learned during birth preparation (smile).
After what seemed a very long, exhausted time, I finally asked for an epidural, still convinced that Alexis wouldn't arrive until the next day. At around 3.30 am, just as the epidural was being inserted, my husband arrived and the water broke. Stress for all concerned, as my cervix was at 10 and, against all odds, it was time to give birth!
Fortunately, by the time baby entered my pelvis, my gynaecologist was able to arrive just in time (smile). Between the time when I had to insert the peri, which didn't take effect immediately, and the pushes, I continued to manage the pain by counting during the contractions, concentrating on my breathing and using acupressure points.
Childbirth is such an animal/primary thing. When your baby has to come out, you lose all notion of pain or fatigue and do everything you can to make it happen.
And the 2nd?
Thanks to my self-hypnosis preparation, I was determined to give birth without an epidural. Compared to the 1st birth, I had several additional advantages: the presence of my husband and the knowledge of pain. The plan was first to manage the pain with breathing, the balloon, massage, then hypnosis, the bath and, if necessary, gas.
I think I closed my eyes for most of the work, concentrating on how I felt. I really managed the pain thanks to all the techniques I'd learnt and always on my favourite technique: count, breathe and don't go against the pain. I put my husband to good use, asking him to be my brain by reminding me of the different tools at my disposal.
My gynaecologist and midwife were very encouraging. Around 11 a.m., when the contractions intensified, I considered having an epidural, but was gently reminded that I didn't want one, that I could manage.
What was the atmosphere like in the delivery room ?
Being a very private person, my biggest fear was that I would scream during the birth (laughs). In the end, I was very quiet! During my first birth, I remember the labor room being a bit panicky given the speed of events, but everything was done to keep me calm, not to stress me out, but to "get on with it" (which worked out very well).
For the second, I have the sensation of a benevolent bubble. According to my husband, everyone in the room was whispering so as not to disturb me. I felt I was surrounded by supportive, calm people. I had a feeling of unity, as if I wasn't the only one giving birth. My gynaecologist encouraged me, my husband supported me, the midwife encouraged me and reminded me of my hypnosis sessions.
I think that's what I love about giving birth, that feeling of a team marathon, of surpassing yourself with the most beautiful trophy at the end of the race.
How did you feel when you first saw Noémie?
When she arrived, I was still in my bubble, my eyes closed. The first way I met her was to touch her. At the time, I wanted to feel her against me. When I opened my eyes, I remembered how small a newborn baby is (smile), then I thought she looked just like her brother, and I felt very proud to have given birth to 2 healthy babies.
Just after worrying about the health of my baby, I started worrying about the health of my perineum.
How did you experience your first days as a mom in the maternity hospital?
For Alexis, I couldn't sit still, euphoric to be a new mom. I was hyper-vigilant, focused on my baby so as not to miss anything. I didn't like the evenings when my husband left, but fortunately the whole maternity team was very present and attentive. I would like to take this opportunity to thank them warmly.
For Noémie, I already knew what to expect, so on the contrary, I made the most of the services offered by the maternity hospital to get as much rest as possible before returning home. I was as excited as ever, but without the stress. The icing on the cake was that we were lucky enough to be upgraded to a suite. The rooms are big enough as it is, but this was really crazy! My parents, husband and son came every day and could enjoy Noémie in the living room while I rested in the bedroom. It was a real treat.
I really got attached to Caroline, the midwife who attended my birth, and to Emily, the nursery nurse. They are two incredible people who I associate with Noémie's early days. I was always very happy to see them come into my room during my stay.
What did you find different between your 2 pregnancies/childbirths?
For Alexis, I was employed at the pharmacy, which enabled me to make the most of my pregnancy and maternity leave, whereas for Noémie, I had more responsibilities as I was now the manager and mother of a first-born child. I had more stress and less time before/during/after for her, unlike Alexis. It's very guilt-ridden and difficult to reconcile professional life and life as a mom! But I can't say I regret it, because I couldn't have done it any other way. I love everything I do too much to be able to give up.
I enjoyed Alexis's pregnancy more, but was surprised by a very rapid birth that escaped me a little. Conversely, for Noémie, I enjoyed the pregnancy less, but was fully involved in the birth.
Might need a3rd to enjoy pregnancy AND childbirth! (little message to my husband who reads us 🙂
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