MotherStories is above all a human adventure based on exchanging and sharing experiences. Every opportunity is seized to get together and spend quality time together. This year 2019 was particularly rich in meetings, with no fewer than 15 events organized in Geneva. Mothers Talks, Mothers Nights, Mothers Days, Mothers Fits, Mothers & Kids are the names of the formats we have imagined and created to support (future) moms and enable them to take their heads off the wheel (by which we mean their daily lives and the mental load that goes with it).

Jessica Caeiro, IPAC student

For those of you who haven't yet been able to attend one of our events, here's a report on one of MotherStories' flagship formats: the Mothers Talk. This is an opportunity to discuss a specific subject with specialists (lawyers, psychologists, HR specialists, etc.) and/or moms who wish to talk about their experiences.

With and thanks to them, we wanted to give you all the information you needed to live your pregnancy with peace of mind, and make the decisions best suited to your situation, while respecting your deepest desires. We met inspiring women who were keen to share their knowledge and vision of motherhood with others.

Here are the names of the 3 main Mothers Talks organized in 2019:

1. Doula, midwife, gynaecologist: complementary allies!
2. Is career and motherhood compatible?
3. Maternity leave: everything you need to know and how to take it easy.

Doula, midwife, gynaecologist: complementary allies!

When you get pregnant, there are many options open to you, but it's not always easy to identify them. Not always knowing where to turn for general questions about pregnancy and childbirth, we've given moms the chance to put their questions to three specialists: a gynecologist, a midwife and a doula.

Whether you're being cared for by one or the other, or by several at once, all three are committed to providing you with the best possible support in your maternity project. However, each has a clearly defined role.

Gynecologists have specialized medical training. His main role is to ensure that your pregnancy is going well from a medical and physiological point of view. He or she will begin by confirming your pregnancy at 12 weeks, then follow you through certain key stages, such as a morphological ultrasound. If you have a "high-risk" pregnancy, you will probably be delivered by a gynecologist.

Midwives also have medical training. People often think that midwives only work in the delivery room, but this is not true! She can monitor your entire pregnancy, advising you, examining you and making sure it runs smoothly. The midwife prepares you for childbirth by advising you on the various options available to you (water birth, squatting, home birth, birth center...) and by helping you to manage pain (birth preparation classes with breathing techniques, use of the balloon, epidural injection...). The midwife also takes care of all post-partum care in the maternity ward/clinic and at home. Compulsory basic insurance covers 56 days (8 weeks) of post-partum care by the midwife, with no deductible or co-payment. As a general rule, 16 home visits for the first child and 10 visits from the second onwards are sufficient.

The Doula is there to support you morally and emotionally throughout your pregnancy. She becomes your second best friend. She is dedicated to your general well-being. She can offer you self-hypnosis or sophrology techniques, massage you, create a cocooning atmosphere during labor...). The Doula has specialized but non-medical training.

Her main role is to inform parents about the choices available to them and answer any questions they may have about prenatal care, childbirth and the postpartum period. The Doula can be present in the delivery room if the hospital (public or private) agrees. Her presence reassures expectant parents, who can feel confident in her presence. She ensures good communication between them and the medical staff.

To conclude this first theme and answer the question: are midwives, gynaecologists and doulas complementary allies? The answer is a resounding yes.

Depending on the needs and wishes of the future parents, each has a special place and a well-defined role. So you can choose to be accompanied by a gynecologist and a doula, or a gynecologist and a midwife, or all 3! Only the gynecologist can't really be left out of the equation (smile). The mother-to-be will have to see him at least once to confirm her pregnancy, before being followed up by a midwife if the pregnancy is normal and risk-free.

In any case, the most important thing is to listen to yourself. Assume responsibility for your choices, even if they don't necessarily please those closest to you (including your husband). These decisions belong to you, and you're by far the best placed to know what's right or wrong for you and your baby.

Jessica Caeiro, IPAC student

Is career and motherhood compatible?

Natalie, co-founder of MotherStories, recently went through a career change. So we're going to use her experience to illustrate this second topic, which, by the way, was a big hit with members.

Natalie is an ambitious woman who has always loved working and has spent the last 8 years in merchandising for a multinational company. After the birth of her first child, she immediately wanted to get back into the swing of things and prove to herself (and ultimately to others) that being a 100% working mum was possible! So be it, but after a second pregnancy and a miscarriage, things started to change for her. After the arrival of the second (third) pregnancy, it took some time, but she finally accepted that her priorities were no longer the same. Her job no longer fitted in with her new life and the balance she wanted for her children and her well-being.

In this phase of reflection, Natalie would have liked to find comfort or learn from the experience of other moms. That's the main reason why we chose this topic for one of our Mothers Talks, entitled: Career and motherhood, are they compatible?

For this meeting, we invited 3 profiles of moms: a stay-at-home mom, a 100% working mom and a mumpreneur (mom who started her own business) and tried to answer questions linked to guilt, ambition and society's view.

Professional and life projects are constantly evolving. Women no longer want to have to choose. Many of them are taking the plunge into entrepreneurship, often combining several activities (#slasheuse), enabling them to have a flexible schedule, adapted to the needs of their families. In the end, they often work much more than when they were in business, but they are free.

For MotherStories, it's perfectly possible to be a mother and have a career at the same time. The most important thing is to take responsibility for your choice and feel aligned with the reasons behind it. It's important to surround yourself well, to talk about your fears and doubts with those closest to you, but above all with the person who shares your life. He or she must be present enough to help you realize your dreams and support you whatever happens.

Maternity leave: everything you need to know and how to take it easy

Congratulations, you've just given birth and are beginning a period known as maternity leave. In Geneva, it lasts 16 weeks, or 4 months. However, if you wish to return to work after the first 8 weeks of compulsory leave (often the case for self-employed workers), you may do so, but your maternity insurance will come to an end.

Whatever the case, this period is dedicated to meeting your baby. Everything is new, and you need to get your bearings and create a new routine. Maternity leave, which lasts 4 months (minimum, then at the company's discretion), is the time you need to gently recover from the physical and emotional upheavals caused by the tsunami more commonly known as childbirth.

Maternity leave is a time when the young mother should not have to worry about returning to work. She should feel protected and be able to devote herself solely to her baby. Unfortunately, these few months are also synonymous with stress. The stress of soon having to leave her baby behind, of who's going to look after him, of how to combine and manage family and professional life, if of course she isn't sidelined on her return (change of job, redundancy...). We've just talked about the aftermath, but the before is complicated too. When should you announce your pregnancy? Is there a risk of career slowdown? These are all questions and doubts that cause stress and anxiety for expectant and new mothers.

For this Mothers Talk, we were joined by an HR specialist, a lawyer and a life coach who helped us analyze maternity leave from all angles (the law, the company, the individual) and answer all our members' questions.

By way of conclusion, here's a list of tips:

• Keep in touch with your employer & colleagues.
• As soon as you have confirmed your pregnancy, plan your childcare options.
• Stay informed and connected, and don't isolate yourself.
• Take care of yourself and give yourself a break without your child (a massage, a yoga class, lunch with your girlfriends).
• Trust yourself! Being a mother isn't something you're born with, it's something you learn and it takes time.
• Dare to ask for help from those around you (friends, family, colleagues, MotherStories). You're not alone and you don't have to do everything yourself. Don't suffer.
• Just breathe! A serene baby is above all a mother who feels good about herself.

Jessica Caeiro, IPAC student

Always with kindness, lightness and a positive spirit, the MotherStories community is and will always be there to listen to you, support you and (re)put a smile on your face.

We'd like to extend our heartfelt thanks to everyone who took part in our Mothers Talks, and hope to see you again soon! A big thank you also to Chloé and Claire, the founders of HerStreet, where all our meetings took place. Without them and their space, these meetings wouldn't have had the same soul. To be able to talk about well-being and maternity in a setting specially designed and dedicated to women... What else?

If you have a topic or theme that particularly interests you and that you'd like us to tackle in some way, don't hesitate to write to us!

See you soon mums (-to be)

Elsa & Natalie

 #sharinsiscaring

---