Miscarriage

We're convinced of the need to break the silence surrounding motherhood, and determined to lift taboos that shouldn't be taboos. By bearing witness, you are offering support and comfort to all women going through a similar ordeal without daring to talk about it. Thank you for them, thank you to you.

Anonymous testimonial

"I have an adorable 2-year-old daughter and a great partner. I like my job and my house. I'm very lucky. We wanted to have two children, and I got pregnant again last summer. As with my daughter, it was easy for us (almost too easy?). During our first few days of vacation in the south of France, I felt some unusual pains, but I wasn't too worried. I'm at 7SA and due to see my gynaecologist for a first check-up after the summer vacations. The next morning, I have a little blood loss (?). The anxiety mounts. We're staying with my partner's family with the little one, so what can we do? Head for the emergency room. I stayed there all day, lost the baby and realized it myself when I went to the upstairs bathroom.

My partner and daughter are there in the waiting room, playing and looking after me as best they can and supporting me. But here I am, alone in this hospital waiting area. I'm levitating, because even though I understand, I won't admit it to myself. At the end of the day, after blood tests, waiting and a consultation with an obstetrician, the intern tells me that I have indeed lost my baby, that it's not serious, that it happens often and that nature "selects" viable embryos. And then, as someone who rarely cries and only cries in front of my loved ones, I broke down. Why did I break down? Why should I? No, it's serious, it was my baby, not just cells being assembled. I feel so bad, so alone. I finish the paperwork like a robot and go out to join my partner and daughter outside. Under a blazing sun, in my bathing suit under my beach dress (that was the day's program), I realize what has just happened. And spent the next two weeks in a dark, gray state, unable (what's more) to swim. What kept me going? My darling, my little baby and my gynecologist, who listened to me and comforted me from a distance. We ended our vacation as best we could, finally talking it over with the family we were staying with (how else could we explain declining family invitations for the following days?).

Coming home 2 weeks after this unfortunate episode, I tell myself that I'm already incredibly lucky to have a healthy little girl. I realize that things don't always go smoothly. And I can't wait to get my cycle back... which takes forever to return. With the passage of time and the return of my close friends, I can share this experience, which happens to one woman in 3 or 4, but is so little talked about. For me, it was "for others". We didn't tell our parents for many months. Time to mop up the sadness that remained in the background.

My cycle finally resumed, after ... 45 days! Surprise, surprise, I'm pregnant again. I'm in a state of total stress, afraid of going through the same experience again. I ask myself 1,000 questions every time I go to the corner. Time goes by and my partner is incredibly supportive. So is my daughter, in her own way, at less than two years old. And the pregnancy works, is confirmed and is going wonderfully well. What a joy! A new baby can't replace another, and for me, I've had 3 pregnancies in my life. We're having our second child next month. I went through this pregnancy with a lot of anxiety in the 1st trimester, relaxed a bit in the 2nd trimester, and am finally serene in the 3rd trimester. The baby is viable and healthy. In the end, I was lucky, we're lucky and we have a lovely little family.

I can't forget this unfortunate episode, which has made me more down-to-earth, less naive, and probably more aware of how lucky I am to soon have two beautiful, healthy children. As I rewrote what happened to us last summer, I shed a few tears (hormones not helping ;)) but I think it's important to talk about it. Good luck to all of you in your journeys and life paths."