To celebrate Mother's Day, we've decided to share with you not one but three stories! Those of 3 women, 3 mothers, 3 generations. Madeleine, 82, mother, grandmother and great-grandmother. Céline, 53, daughter and mother of Leslie, 31. When they say that motherhood is a woman's business, here's the proof (smile). Especially as the family's latest addition is once again a girl. Her name is Rose and she's 2.5 years old. We spoke to them over the phone about their vision of motherhood and education. We asked them the same questions, and their answers, unknowingly, are often similar despite the generation gap.

From left to right: Leslie (31), Rose (3), Céline (53), Madeleine (82)

What values did your mother pass on to you?

Grandma - Madeleine: Respect and hard work. I come from a family of 8 children. Our mother died of cancer when I was 13 and, being the second oldest, I had to "replace" her and look after my brothers and sisters. 

Mother - Céline: Sense of responsibility, respect, love of family and work. My mother looked after my sister and me full-time until I was 13. At the age of 40, despite our father's misgivings, she decided to get her cafe licence and open a restaurant, her dream. We worked there a lot during lunch breaks and vacations. I loved it!

Daughter - Leslie: Many, but I'd say mostly the values of family and independence. Knowing how to take care of yourself and relying only on yourself.

What does your mother mean to you?

Mother - Céline: A pillar! We've always been very close. When my father died in 2014, I realized, despite all my sadness, that I'd be able to manage without them. Unconsciously, I felt liberated, the cord had finally been cut.

Girl - Leslie: It's a bit of a paradox, but she's as much my hero as she is my dragon. She's one of the people I love most in the world and I admire her enormously. After that, our characters are very different and we often have conflicts. For example, my mother is naturally anxious and needs to be in control, whereas I'm more cool-headed, always optimistic and positive. My parents were polar opposites in character, and I think I fall somewhere in the middle. My mother is Monica from Friends (laughs). She's the type to pay a bill the moment she gets it, whereas I'm more the type to wait until the last day or even the first reminder (smile).

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Has it influenced your relationship with work and love?

Mother - Céline: In terms of work, yes! Like her, always 100% committed. Every morning, we get up and go to work, whether we're sick, sad or tired. And when we start something, we see it through to the end. On the sentimental side, no. First of all, unlike me, she's only had one husband (laughs). My father was loving but hot-tempered. My mother had to put up with a lot, but I couldn't have stood it. But it's a question of generation. For my mother, leaving would never have been an option, whereas for me it was different, I couldn't accept everything. We tried, but it didn't work out.

Girl - Leslie: At work, yes, definitely! She taught me how to be rigorous. In love, on the other hand, I took a 180° turn to avoid finding myself in the same situation and experiencing what she endured following my father's cheating that led to their divorce. It was a very difficult time for her, even if she didn't show it. She was really very strong. I would never have reacted the way she did. Our values on love are very different. I see myself more in the couple of my grandparents, who stayed together for 52 years. Despite all their arguments, there was respect and love. When things don't work out, we talk, we work things out, but we don't leave. Of course, it's not always easy, but it's utopian to believe in love without waves. Passion is fleeting.

What was your mother's upbringing style? Have you replicated (or will you replicate) the same with your daughter? 

Mother - Céline: My sister and I were raised the hard way (smile). She was authoritarian, strict but very loving. Leslie's father and I were always very relaxed/cool with our daughter. We explained everything to her. When we split up, Leslie was 13. She spent a week with her father and a week with me. I was cool, but not as cool as he was, so when Leslie came back to my place after a week I'd say, "You can do what you like at Dad's, but that's the way it is here" (laughs)! Fortunately, the divorce went well and we've stayed on good terms.

Daughter - Leslie: I think I had a wonderful childhood and upbringing. Despite their different characters, my parents were on the same wavelength. A caring upbringing, with no punishments or spankings. They took the time to explain things to me. A super-positive upbringing that I try to replicate with Rose. I talk to her a lot, encourage her and praise her. On the other hand, I have 0 tolerance for the rules of good manners and politeness, which are essential in my eyes. My husband's parents were very strict and he suffered a lot as a result, so he's delighted to do things differently with his daughter. Rose is a very sensitive, sweet little girl. The more you push and encourage her, the more she opens up. On the other hand, I'm not sure when to be cool and when to be strict. Saying yes to everything clearly doesn't do them any favors for the future. You have to try and find a happy medium.

Madeleine, what was your parenting style with your daughters? What do you think of the education your daughter is giving Leslie? 

Grandma - Madeleine: Severe but fair. My husband and I tried never to contradict each other in front of them. If we disagreed, we both discussed it first. We really tried to instill in them the value of hard work. If they wanted something, they had to work for it. In fact, when it came to the moped they wanted so badly, they earned it by the sweat of their brow, spending hours in restaurants and babysitting (smile).

I have nothing to say about Leslie's upbringing. On the other hand, I regret my daughter's divorce. Fortunately, my daughter and her ex-husband get along well, but it's something I can't understand. In spite of everything, I supported my daughter.

How did you manage your family and professional life at the same time? Do you think it's easier today than it was in your mother's day? 

Mother - Céline: My ex-husband is an architect and we had a company together. The offices were in our house, so I was available for both my daughter and my work. I didn't have to travel, which saved me a lot of time. For the first few years, I mostly worked when Leslie was asleep. Once she started school, it became even easier to reconcile everything. I was a stay-at-home mom as well as a working mom. It would have been unthinkable for me to stop working. I love it too much and I need it for my balance. My ex-husband was happy because I was always there when he needed me. Then we completely changed our business. Together we took over the Café du Marché in Carouge for 2 years. I loved it, but it meant I finished late. I wasn't home as often, he couldn't "control" me and that was the beginning of the end between us. My mother wanted to emancipate herself from my father by opening her own restaurant at the age of 40, and I did the same... 

I don't think it's any easier to reconcile the two now than it was in my or my mother's day. Mentalities and priorities are simply not the same. My mother is a bit of an exception, starting out on her own at 40.

Daughter - Leslie: My parents took great care of me, I never had a nanny. Since they worked from home, it was easier. I'm convinced that a child needs as much care as possible from birth to age 10. Since Rose was born, this has been my number one concern. I didn't work for the first 18 months. To be honest, I couldn't take it for the last 6. I really missed work, which is all about balance. I started again at 70% as an employee, whereas before Rose I was self-employed. I lasted a year! I left at the start of the covid crisis to go back on my own and use this period of confinement to launch my project. Now we'll just have to see whether it'll work out financially or not. 

In my mother's day, women were less career-minded. Many were stay-at-home moms before returning to work when their children were older. I don't think parents of our generation get much help. To get by, both have to work. We'll never be able to talk about equality until we find a viable solution around childcare, and until there's parental leave that can be divided between mother and father as they see fit. We're in a transition phase.

In my grandmother's day, women had no choice. They were forced to stay at home, often in bad marriages. I'm all the more admiring of my grandmother who managed to emancipate herself from my grandfather by standing up to him and opening a restaurant at the age of 40. She proved that she existed as an individual and not as the wife of.

What's the best advice your mother ever gave you? 

Grandma - Madeleine: Where there's a will there's a way!

Mother - Céline: Staying independent no matter what!

Girl - Leslie: There are no problems, only solutions! 

How do you see your mother today?

Mother - Céline: A kind, tender, loving look. 4 generations of daughters come full circle.

Girl - Leslie: I look at her with a lot of love and gratitude. I'm proud to be her daughter.

Madeleine, what would you like to say to your daughter and granddaughter today?

Grandmother - Madeleine: I love them with all my heart. They're the most beautiful thing in my life. They have to realize that I'm not eternal. We have to see each other now to have memories tomorrow.

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